Wandering Home.

I, like many of you, suffer from a beautiful condition called wanderlust.

Having said that, I am fortunate to have won a geographical lottery. I can savor glorious locally made produce,  enjoy french champagne while watching a beautiful sunset on a mountain, and scale riverside cliffs without going more than half an hour from my home.

That, is the beauty of Brisbane.

For those of you who feel you have to head south to Sydney or Melbournetown to get the best of the land down under, I say you underestimate what Queensland’s capital has to offer.

So regardless of whether you’re a local, or stopping by from interstate or overseas, here is a quick run-down of the best this city has to offer.

In a 24 hours.

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Growned up thoughts….Unpublished from 2012

So as the Malaysia Diaries are taking longer than expected to type, and the intensity of training and uni is on the increase, I unfortunately have left you, my love blogless. So as I sit here on my uber comfy couch, ice pack on knee, waiting for one of my darling best girlfriends to arrive, I vent my spleen on the week that was.

I’ve had a lot of general grown up thoughts this week. So apologies, but shit’s getting political.

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Queensland Health needs to take a long hard look at themselves.

My grandparents always used to say that to me when I misbehaved as a child. Which was often. Qld Health, I am angry, and I’m also disappointed. So you’ve got double time in the naughty corner.

For those of you who haven’t been following my life closely, (And I assume its either because you’re a bad friend, or because you are solely a reader of my blog, in which case. Congratulations and welcome) I have a broken nose. Long story short, cheer related incident. Lots of blood and many laughs afterwards, especially after the codeine kicked in. They all stopped pretty soon after the hospital incompetency began.

So far. I have been to four different hospitals, had my referral lost, had my referral ignored, dropped several hundred dollars (only to get a measly $31 back off medicare) and seen countless doctors who are more than happy to poke my face, confirm that yes, I have a fractured and crooked nose, and then palm me off to someone else. It took them so long to book me in for a re-set that by the time I got in to see the specialist, all he could do was poke my face again, discover my nose has healed too much, then casually announce that I now need major surgery to get it back where it was… and that will take 3-6 months.

In fact. I might not even qualify for surgery as there is a risk that I may break it again.

Ignoring the fact that in the 8 years I’ve been cheerleading this is my first and only broken bone.

So here I am. Crooked and pissed off, and thinking that maybe I should just cut my losses and go for a surgical holiday in Thailand when I retire…and just sleep with my mouth open like a walrus til then.

In the meantime I have a couple of suggestions for the health system so that next time this can get sorted quicker, and anyone else unfortunate enough to hurt themselves doesn’t have to go through this crap.

1. The health department needs to burn their fax machines…and get email. Just like everyone else who lives in 2012. Then maybe next time you won’t lose my referral and it won’t take you 3 goddamned weeks to get me to see a specialist.

2. Medibank. When I pay you $40 a fortnight for a level of cover that takes care of knee and shoulder reconstructions, you should 100% definitely cover ALL minor breaks. Broken noses. Yeah. More common than reconstructions…And easier//cheaper to fix when you book your friggen clients in before their nose fuses over on the left side of their face.

3. Why in gods name is there only one guy, and one department, in all of Brisbane’s public hospitals that can fix broken noses. See above. They are common. At the end of the day, I didn’t even get seen in Brisbane, I got palmed off to Logan. Boxing, Football, and drunken fighting are so very popular that I can imagine every second person in the emergency room on any given weekend has a broken nose. Why then. Is there only one doctor?

4. Perhaps if parents pulled their fingers out and brought up children in a well disciplined environment that values education there would be more doctors to fix aforementioned problems and better politicians and economists to ensure that the health department gets adequate funding.

5. And finally. If you are a smoker, an alcoholic, an over eater, an under eater, suicidal, or a drug fiend. For gods sake get out of public health. Go. Get out. Get private health insurance so that you may get so sick of forking out time and money on retaining what little health you have, you might just take care of yourself and save everyone some hassle. Tax payer dollars should be reserved for those who look after themselves, and so public hospitals and doctors should be reserved for those healthy self respecting people who are unfortunate enough to have bad things happen to them. I spent all day, in a waiting room, with wheezy fat people. Who had a darb out the front before coming in to wait around me. Of course you’re sick, you’re not looking after yourself. I and many others eat right, exercise, and as such, are in good health and therefore more entitled to health funds.

Our health. More valuable. By far. Go to the back of the line.

End rant.

I am fricken amazing… See below for proof

I was having lunch with a dear friend of mine earlier this week when she said something that inspired me to write a blog. I don’t remember her exact words (cause i’m neither a wizard nor stenographer), but it was something along the lines of how awesome I am, and that I’m lucky to have such an exciting life. My reply was something along the lines of ‘Yeah right, my life’s pretty standard.’

But then I started thinking about all the stuff I am doing, one by one, and then I was like ‘Hey. I am pretty impressive.” And so over the last couple of days I’ve half constructed a list of impressive stuff I’ve done this week, and yeah, I feel good. And to be honest the only thing that I would change about my life right now is that I’d add having this guy apply for permanent residency in my bed…or this guy or even him.   So if you’ve been having a crap day//week//year, just make a list on a scrap piece of paper (or on the internet) and even include all the stupid little things like finding 5c pieces that you don’t think even count. Cause it counts. It all counts. pennies in the bank 🙂

This week I

  • Got neglected by the Easter Bunny and didn’t make a scene.
  • After years of being tickle-tortured I discovered one of my work buddies is as ticklish as me. Bwah ha ha.
  • Finally scored a night off training. I celebrated by running til I couldn’t breathe.
  • Express posted my inspirational friend her inspirational present. And prayed every day since that she gets it before she leaves for worlds.
  • Set up a monthly World Vision donation.
  • Resisted the urge to spend ten grand on a piece of toast.
  • Returned to crack of dawn swimming training && survived.
  • Had breakfast with my dearest friend and had an incredibly loud conversation about our sex lives.
  • Stayed up til almost midnight catching up with another friend….talking about our sex lives.
  • Noticed a common trend in my conversations.
  • Watched all of Geordie Shore (<3 Charlotte…Although her && the parsnip hit a familiar nerve)…then returned to reality.
  • Joined the AGT team && got to perform for  TV.
  • Gave myself a DIY spray tan and didn’t turn the bathroom orange, or make a total mess of myself.
  • Applied for a big girl job.
  • Did my first breakfast show without any notes or deleting any talk breaks.
  • Bought a rad bikini for my annual 21st.
  • Made a mental wish list of BM stuff I want
  • Scored myself a lot of chicken for $20
  • Came to the realization that Kmart is my favourite shop. (They have soooo much cheap house stuff)
  • Bought Easter eggs for $1.65…from Kmart.
  • Thanked god a million times for how sweet life is right now, and that my hard work is paying off in so many ways.
  • Made an effort to thank everyone who has helped me out this week.
  • Finally returned to tumbling (oh how a week can seem like an eternity)
  • Ate my weight in fish oil tablets so that my body can have super healing powers.
  • Waited patiently for my wolf hat….

I am a bad person

And to be honest a terrible bloggger. 

and student

and employee

and a bit of a shit friend too. 

It has been lord knows how long since I last posted, and if it weren’t for wordpress eating several of my attempts to please the 2, perhaps 3 people who care about what i write, this may not have been such a mass issue. 

Long story short.

I’ve been busy.

Insane busy. 

Apparently juggling 4 jobs, a degree, training commitments, dating and seeing friends results in one forgetting to do things such as sleep or pay for your health insurance. 

Speaking of. 

If anyone knows of any awesome providers that are cheap but offer rad extra’s like mass amounts of physio…comment below. ASAP

Speaking of being indecisive. 

Apparently there’s an election on tomorrow. 

And to be frightfully honest, I don’t actually know who to vote for. 

I’ve had several chats with several people over the last few days and so far the best choice is to draw a box at the bottom of the ballot and vote for Batman

In all honesty, I don’t know who I want running this state, cause I have absolutely no idea what’s in it for me if I vote for (insert candidate). I sure as hell know what they won’t do, cause every goddamn ad and campaign is focused on throwing hate and telling me how rubbish the other guy is. Rather than telling me what you’ll do for me. 

Good mate of mine put forth the idea that voting for Bob Katter might be a go. Seeing as how he’s the most socially backwards guy in the race, it might be amusing to see how badly he makes a mess of the place. Sounds like a plan. Vote for the worst possible guy, skip town, and watch on from a distance. 

Batman would make a good Premier. 

In other news. 

I’m in a similar position with this whole Kony 2012 thing. Not sure if I wanna donate money to a guy who was caught masturbating in public,  has a fetish for knocked up women, and whose son’s middle name is danger. I DO wanna buy him a drink though, with a possible hi5 for being an utter nutcase and all round good entertainment value. 

I think I’ll just carry on giving my dollars to World Vision. 

Highlight of the week. 

Bought a wolf hat. 

Life is good.

Til next time

Nat ❤

Flashback Friday.

Well its been a while since I’ve posted, and there’s been a few things going on. So as I sit here waiting for water to boil (I must be doing it wrong cause I swear its been on the stove for an hour) I’ll skim over all the junk I’ve done and learnt over the last week or so.

1. Cooking//Cleaning//General looking after yourself BLOWS! Moving out of home has really interfered with my laziness, and since I can’t go back to mamma (because I’m a grown-up now) I will happily take applications for ‘doting manflesh’ to feed me clean up after me, and throw in some additional cuddles for good measure.

NB>> Applicants must be at least 180cm (tall enough for me to wear heels around you), Muscular (Back included – not just the glamour muscles), and have an incredibly hot mouth (much like the dream boat from Fired Up). 

2. People who work in retail are stupid. (Myself Excluded) Got my new phone. Finally. Smart shop assistant casually didn’t chuck in a sim card…rendering my new phone useless until I went back in today.

On the way to retrieve said sim card, I stopped at a servo && bought two waters, on the premise that they were 2 for $6. The stupid lady behind the counter charged me full price for both. Rather than ask for my $2, I sat in my car and wished death on her as apparently I’m far too much of a pussy to confront a cashier for overcharging me. It’s not like I’m saving to go overseas or anything…

3. Australia is overrun with bugs. (Also see point 1) I no longer have a mummy//step-dad//bretheren to fight off large insects. I had to catch my own spider the other day. It was incredibly scary, kinda liberating and icky.

On that same note, every single night at training we are attacked by mothra & co, and there is currently a fly making an assortment of noise in my bin.

Australia blows for this very reason.

4. Finally cracked a thousand ‘friends’ on facey…..couldn’t wrangle up more than ten to come out last night. This tells me either a) I’m not as popular as I thought, of b) I make friends with terribly useless people… I vote B.

5. Heard the 23159876089437-90`85`786750976891789574893759823758342689-107583476th ad for Valentines Day. I’m heading down to the TAB right now to bet that I will still be single && fabulous on V’day…which may have semi inspired a social experiment…But is any of y’all want to be my Valentine and junk, I’ll accept lindt balls, lilies, and a mf deep tissue massage.

6. Had an itty bitty cry.  Justified by the fact that my saults have gotten so terrible I resemble a duck being shot at. It won’t happen again.

7. Blogs are the new black. Get all up in my lover’s blog.  Oh and Jed’s…but he’s not that great 😛

8. Having a pool is not awesome when it rains on every day you have off. I think I need to get into some anti-rain dance tribal mojo so I can get a tan and enjoy my surroundings..

9. Recording is fun. Long story short, volunteer announcing atm so I can get me a rad portfolio && work my way up the commercial ladder && be the next Kyle & Jackie O. Sunday, 9-11 listen live right here  if you’re keen. Otherwise sleep in && hold out til I get my big break && get paid for my genius.

10. I am stupid. Today I ran out of fuel on the motorway and burnt tuna && sauce into the bottom of a saucepan…Not my first time for either…learning clearly isn’t my strong point

Water = boiled. Food calls, gtg.

Nat 🙂


Sometimes I wonder about myself. 

I mean, I think about myself almost 24/7, but sometimes I float out and have a look at myself from the outside. 

This morning I saw a lizard.

I have concluded this morning that along the evolutionary scheme of things, when it comes to eating….I’m not very far along.

*nb none of the following reflects on my upbringing. trust me…i’ve been taught to know better.

I maintain that I’m book smart.. life smart…not so much.

This mornings approach to eggs proved this to me. 

Not only did I have to google how long to cook eggs for (because I didn’t steal the egg timer from mammas && cbf searching through the nest for someone elses)

But I decided to make soft boiled eggs (the best way to have eggs) without owning egg cups to consume them from (probably another thing I should have borrowed from mum)

Nevertheless, I got myself out a plate, as if in some deluded fantasy I might be able to eat my pre-bed snack in some sort of civilized way.

For those of you who are lucky enough to have never been in the kitchen with me at breakfast//egg time…I feel I need to point out my approach to cracking the shells. 

Instead of daintily tapping at the shell with a knife, I’m a smasher.

By smasher I mean I will drop//throw the egg repeatedly on the kitchen counter until the shell is so shattered that it just comes right off. 

For some reason it didn’t register that the insides would be all gooey and I wouldn’t be able to transfer the delicious insides onto my plate and eat them with a spoon in a humanlike fashion. 

Instead after several smashes I realised that the eggs were quite gooey delicious, but also completely impractical. 

So in a lizard like fashion I licked and sucked out the inners, leaving behind the shells on the paper towels I’d laid down to save the kitchen. 

It was halfway through the second egg, as I was drinking the insides, the thought popped into my head… what would my housemate think If she woke up and walked into the kitchen to find me with my tongue in an egg with shells scattered around me..what must I look like.


Perhaps even a Raptor

Not a lady. 

On the upside…the kitchen doesn’t look like its been raided by a starving reptile. 

So its not all bad…


Nat ❤

You. Better. Ba-Ring it.

Tonight was the night we’ve all been counting down for. The first team training of 2012. The training that has had us all not knowing what to expect since we learned that we would be coached by our world class//superstar choreographer from 2011.

Personally, I was crapping myself….all holidays..

Even though I’ve been competing on and off for 8 years now, I’m quite the sped gymnast, and am nowhere near as skilled as some of the ah-mazing peeps at my gym.

I’ll admit I caught myself a few times thinking that I hadn’t earnt my place on an Elite 4 team. That I wasn’t good enough, and somehow I’d managed to trick my coaches into thinking I had what it takes. And that after one practice they’d see right through me and send me right back to L3.

Being the last one to get in to the gym didn’t really make me feel any better.

But within 5 minutes // before I’d even had time to think, I was chucking standing backs like I wasn’t even scared of eating carpet (oh god how I was).

Tonight. We brought it.

I didn’t think for a second that there was anything I couldn’t do, as such…there was a lot of crazy, but there’s no other way to get better.

There were a few tears, a bucketload of sweat, and a lot of appreciation for the pedestal fans. And I don’t know about anyone else, but I left that gym knowing that I can be the best, that we can be the best, and thanks to the adrenaline//delirium, I felt like I could have survived another 3 hours of training.

So as I count down the minutes until I do it all again, with my body covered in ice packs. I’ll finish with the best advice I’ve ever been given. Find something you love, and immerse yourself in it. Whether its Cheer, knitting, cats, collecting spoons, WHATEVER.

Get involved.

❤ Nat

Conquering the Christmas Muffin

At the beginning of season last year, we all set ourselves 3 goals, read them out put them in a time capsule yada yada etc.

Now out of the 3 of mine, I’ve really only achieved 2. And what’s funny is that the one I failed miserably at is the only thing I thought I’d be able to do.

My first goal was to get a lot better at tumbling. Now I specifically left this one open and didn’t name the skills I wanted cause I think I’m a pretty useless gymnast and didn’t want to set myself up for disappointment.

Although I’m entirely sure I scraped in by the skin of my teeth, this year I have gained enough tumbling skills to have scored a place on the fiercest level 4 team out. Which excites and scares me greatly. Having said that, I worked my butt off, face planted many.. many times and ate a lot of blue carpet. And I can’t wait to do it all again this year.

My second goal was that my teammates would become like family to me. At this stage I was still competing with Cheersport Australia, a club I’ve been with for years, with teammates who love each other more than life. I guess at first I was worried I wouldn’t get there with my new team, as many of them already knew each other from other clubs. However, I’ve made some of the most amazing friends and had the most amazing time with the Zoo Crew && I can’t wait to do it all again this year.

My third and final goal//the one I thought I’d be able to achieve quite easily was to have ‘Top Gun abs’ by Nationals//just generally be anywhere near as awesome as them would be fine with me.

In the month before Nationals last year I stocked up like a mother. Tank, not flab. But still not TG worthy.

Today I learnt I’ve gained 4-5 kg’s.

About an hour later I was in the lunchroom inhaling donuts and chips….

And I’m writing this while polishing off half a pizza with extra cheese base delicious.

See my main problem is, I’m in the mindset that because I’m an athlete, I can eat like a fat manbearpig. Unfortunately, hitting the gym once or twice over holidays, or ever when I was training 7 days does not equal regular pizza && pasta gorges with no repercussions.

Not to mention the chips, lollies, chocolates, budget junk dinners etc. etc.

My theory is that now that I no longer live in the parental nest that I will have the willpower to only buy good food.

My parents are angels, but there is soooooo much unhealthy tempting delicious stuff in that pantry. I stopped off home last night to pick up some cups and my loofah and left with mouthfuls of marshmallows and an armful of packet pasta.

So my promise to you all and myself (Its on the internet so it’s permanent) is to actually take care of myself and eat well so I can look totally bangin….which benefits everyone, and have the energy and ability to get rad skills to continue to entertain you all…not that it isnt mass funny when I stack it….

Starting tomorrow…. (as hand reaches for the lolly tin)

❤ Nat


The final gorge.

Im now in my last week at the parental nest. I’ve found a new one, with real grown ups, and a pool. As such. I will become a real grown up…with a pool.

So I’m taking this opportunity to gorge on the plethora of junk food contained in the parental nest.  Being a poor uni student, my post-parental diet will surely consist of two minute noodles, cat food, and beans.

So due to the fact I will be unable to justify and//or afford junk food when I leave home, I’m taking full advantage of the opportunity to inhale as much as possible over the next few days.

Including, but not limited to, chocolate as a staple for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Dorito’s and dessert spoonfuls of nutella for second lunch.

And jatz && dip for second dinner.

Apologies to all if I get fat and//or repulsive.

Nat 🙂

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